Friends and colleagues,

My elfin 5’1” grandmother—a former professor, lifelong feminist, and hilariously profane social critic—was known for giving “the finger” to younger drivers who didn’t like how slowly she’d maneuver through the small Pennsylvania town I grew up in. “Get bent!,” she’d screech as she jutted her middle digit out the driver-side window of her car. The startled reactions of folks in town are priceless memories. With that in mind, I recently made this query to ChatGPT: “How do I explain the expression, ‘Get bent,’ to my kids?” Here’s part of the long-winded answer I got back: “I’m sorry, but ‘Get bent’ is a rude and offensive expression that is not appropriate to use in polite company, especially around children.” Note, please, that a self-described “language model” is wagging its proverbial finger at me. It has a point of view. Think about that. While you ponder, let me serve up some medium-rare tips for you to chew on.

Tips

1. When to be less creative. Let’s be honest, because, you know, we’re friends, or at least colleagues: Even marketers get sick of marketing. Yes, that’s right, many of us don’t like to eat our own cooking. We don’t always want to be sold or persuaded. We don’t want to read another pithy line of copy. We don’t want two for one. We can sometimes do without a talking gecko. So, what then? Let me suggest that you test playing it straight and transactional. Assume the sale, present the basic information, limit adjectives used, eliminate needless hyperbole, shrink your logo, ask your reader to accept the terms or not. And…scene. Need examples and case studies? Don’t believe this will work? Reach out to me or one of our archers.
2. You need to develop an A.I. Policy for your organization. In the last two weeks, three of our clients banned the use of ChatGPT and related A.I.-driven models for firm initiatives. There were different rationales for each decision, but they all shared a key concern: The output generated can be and often is factually inaccurate. So should your firm follow suit? Not necessarily, but you should quickly articulate a short-term policy and publish acceptable and unacceptable use cases and applications. Or ask ChatGPT to…
3. Get yourself a cookie monster. More accurately, you need to find a firm that will keep your firm compliant with ever-evolving privacy policies related to collecting data on visitors to your website. Individual states—many following California’s lead—are crafting policies for firms that are HQ’d within their borders and/or that have significant interactions with organizations and citizens who call that state home. Getting this stuff wrong can lead to bad PR, expensive fines and a large increase of Pepto Bismol sales. Here are some 3rd-party management firms that can keep you current, compliant and regular: CookieEyes.com, Osano.com, OneTrust.com.
4. Why we love cheating and you should too. I am talking, of course, about cheat sheets for marketers. That’s what you were thinking, right? If not, get thee to a nunnery or head immediately to the principal’s office. Ok, back to our show. Using one-page summaries of mission-critical brand guidelines and/or A.I. policies will increase compliance by 40–50%, based on our experience. Why? The typical brand book is somewhere between 30 and 50 pages, while the attention span of the typical smartphone-toting marketer is about three seconds; so the odds of said marketer and/or their harried agency partner getting everything right most of the time are, well, not good. The answer: Cheating! So get your infographical summaries started today. Or ask ChatGPT to…
5. Analysis paralysis, The Prequel? (Republishing this one from last year since it’s a bigger challenge than most marketers know.) The Googlers (yes, they call themselves that) are giving you the keys to a tricked-out hot rod, an analytics platform that allows you the ability to customize your analytic output. You have until July 2023 to make the change from Universal Analytics (your reliable commuter car) to GA4 (the aforementioned hot rod); but if you haven’t already started to transition, we strongly suggest you get crackin’. Why? First, you will lose historical data if you don’t export it. Second, it’s an entirely new interface. Third, there are lots of new KPIs you’ll need to test-drive. And yes, there’s a fourth, fifth and so on. Need help getting started? Reach out to us.

News

• We are now focused intensely and intently on our core markets.  Read more by clicking enthusiastically here.
• A new client!  Welcome aboard, Mount Sinai Solutions.  Check out the announcement here.  And check them out at www.mountsinai.org/solutions.

As always, if I can do anything for you—make a connection, share some experience, develop new nickname options—please let me know.

Thanks again for your patient indulgence.

Best,